Equipment: Parabolic Microphones

I've mentioned before that I've found less than optimal use from parabolic microphone. Unless experimentation produces new results, that opinion is unlikely to change. The downside with a parbolic is that it is fairly clear you are up to no good, and what you gain from your conspicuousness is rarely something to write HQ about. There are some applications that a parabolic will come in handy, but the bottom line is to limit your expense on what will be a less-than-often-used tool in your kit.

The first parabolic most people consider is the Bionic Ear. It is astonishing that more people don't write complqints about this piece of equipment, if it can even be called that. It appears to be cheaply made - even to the point that the plastic feels cheap - and the technology appears to be cutting edge of the early 70s. The actual microphone has two outputs: one for the headphones one for line-out recording. My line-out never worked, but the headphone jack worked adequately.

The "Ear" comes with special headphones that will shut-off with loud noises to protect your hearing, or perhaps to prevent you from hearing anything interesting. The headphones are emblazoned with an embarrasing "Bionic Ear" graphic. With it on high-gain mode, I could never pick-up a conversation at anything past normal hearing range. Thumps on the floor, noises of people walking, and loud clicks are brought in very well. Alas, these are often not very useful intel. You'll notice that any site selling it will emphasize the fact you can hear things coming through the woods, and that indeed appears to be its strength.

Well, at least we can improve performance with the parabolic itself right? I mean, that's the whole point with a parabolic - take a so-so microphone and make it highly directional and more powerful. The "Bionic" parabolic is unnecessarily large and is completely and utterly insignificant to the use of the product. It adds absolutely nothing. So that extra surcharge to get the parabolic was a contribution to a 70s era merchant, and he thanks you.

Typically the Bionic ear retails for $150 for the total package, and around $100 for the microphone. In case it wasn't clear, I'd recommend you skip it. If you already have one, you can stuff the components into a black project box, cut a small opening for the microphone, and use it as an amplified stethoscope. It will actually help with safecracking, and you can sometimes use it to listen through walls if you don't expect miracles. Actually, the funny thing about this modification is it works almost exactly like the amplifier used by Owen Wilson in "I Spy" (and a surpisingly worthwhile rental).

Recently there are new parabolics on the market that are a good deal cheaper. They retail anywhere between $20 and $70, have a trigger grip and a transparent parabolic. I have a $20 model that I picked up at the very clearly non-espionage oriented Tuesday Morning that was branded for National Geographic. I have also seen a "Espion" model at Sharper Image, and there are many versions that you can find on EBay.

The performance of this parabolic is much better than the vastly more expensive Bionic Ear. It will pick up conversations, but be aware that it often will not improve clarity above normal hearing. What it seems best for is to pick up conversations out a somewhat busy environment. I remember reading somewhere (maybe Amazon?) that it could pick up conversations through windows, but I have yet to see that manifest. However, since it is smaller and the parabolic is mercifully transparent, it is more covert, and is in fact built better than the laughable "Ear". It does have its disadvantages: it does not break down into components, there is no hearing protection, and it has the potential to be viewed as more of a toy than a usefully espionage device (but even some of the spy toys, especially the Spy Ear, have application in certain environments, so I wouldn't let that disuade you). If you have passing interest and a spare $20, you might want to pick one up, but I wouldn't go out of your way and certainly wouldn't spend more than that.